For the first time in five years Raw takes their matches to a fun extreme. A giant roulette wheel will be the deciding factor in all of tonight's matches. This could definitely make or break some superstars tonight!
William Regal and Mr. McMahon start off tonight's Raw, the first of 2008. The are talking in the back about the roulette. Vince is very proud! The first match made was a first blood match between Triple H and William Regal. Triple H catches Regal backstage and begins the festivities early!
Shawn Michaels comes out to the ring facing off against Mr. Kennedy. Of course Mr. Kennedy starts to make an announcement, but Mr. McMahon spins the roulette wheel to decide the match. It's a strange bedfellows match? In other words tag teams that you would never think to put together. Shawn Michaels and Mr. Kennedy will be partnering up tonight against Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdock. This is definitely an interesting match. Mr. Kennedy and Charlie Haas start things off, but Shawn Michaels doesn't waste any time to knock Mr. Kennedy out of the ring and go after Charlie Haas. Suddenly Charlie Haas comes back into the ring with a Luchador mask on. What the heck? Odd. Shawn Michaels and Trevor Murdock are in the ring and Michaels gets a huge boot to the face. Charlie Haas gets his tag in and starts taking it to Michaels. Michaels goes for the tag, but Mr. Kennedy gets out of the way of the tag, refusing to let Shawn tag him in. There is no love between any of these men tonight. Shawn Michaels goes up top and lands on Haas, and delivers some sweet chin music to Trevor Murdock. Mr. Kennedy goes for a shot at Michaels, he tags himself in and gets the three count over Charlie Haas after taking out Michaels. Well at least Michaels and Kennedy won, but it has to be the oddest circumstances I've ever seen in a match up. You never know what you are going to get if you play roulette!
A trading places match is a match in which the opponents must dress like each other. Carlito comes out dressed like Hardcore Holly. Ha Ha. Hardcore Holly comes out dressed like Carlito. This is the funniest thing I've seen all week! Hardcore Holly does a really good Carlito by the way! Big hair and all. This match kicks off and Hardcore loses his afro. Carlito gives some really nice exchanges to Holly and appears to be doing pretty good in the early part of this match up. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Holly turns it around and starts to fight back. Holly spits apple in the face of Carlito after catching it from Cody Rhodes. Hardcore Holly wins it with a big Alabama Slam and the hair goes right back on after the match is over. Not the best hairdo I've seen on Raw that's for sure!
Mr. McMahon is backstage with Maria who will spin the wheel to see what match the divas are going to be in tonight. It lands on submission match, but Mr. McMahon has Maria close her eyes and he changes the wheel to say lingerie pillow fight instead. Mr. McMahon tells Maria that the divas are not allowed to put any foreign objects in the pillows for an advantage. Maria says not to worry about it, her pillows are all natural. Yes they are Maria, yes they are!
Todd Grisham is interviewing Jeff Hardy talking about what happened to Matt last week on Raw. Hardy means business you don't mess with Jeff's brother he's going to make sure that he takes Orton out at the Royal Rumble. It's was announced that it's going to be a steel cage match tonight for Jeff Hardy and his opponent Umaga. I hope Jeff can get his head in the game and bring it all to the table.
The divas make their way to the ring for the lingerie pillow fight. The first diva to score a pin fall or submission will be the winner. The match is between Melina, Jillian, Maria, Mickie James and Ashley (welcome back!) The match gets under way an it's really fun and cute looking. I wish I could play! JR and King quote the term "spankervision". I think that's pretty accurate. Melina and Jillian are sure beating Ashley like a government mule. Maria and Mickie toss Melina and she rolls out of the ring. Ashley goes up top and lands a huge elbow into Jillian winning the match! Even after the bell is rung, the pillow fight continues. I want to be a diva!
Hornswaggle is given the task to find a tag team partner in order to secure his spot in the royal rumble if he and his partner win tonight. Will he be able to find the right person in time?
The first blood match between William Regal and Triple H is up. Regal is first in the ring and he's pacing like a caged animal. He's wearing a really beautiful robe though navy blue with gold piping. It's nice. Triple H comes to the ring looking ready to kick butt and take names. All business and never once faltering about the stipulations of this match up. The crowd is on their feet for Triple H they are ready to see some blood that's for sure. This match kicks off with punches and jabs, it's going to be brutal. Regal gets the brass knuckles on his hand but he doesn't get the chance to use them just yet. Triple H is taking it to Regal like nobodies business. The Game tosses the steel steps at Regal, who narrowly gets out of the way. Triple H gets a face full of the other steel steps by Regal. There is no DQ in this match and no count outs, you can only win by drawing the blood of your opponent. William Regal gets Triple H down for a moment and he goes over to expose the top turnbuckle. Regal gets the Game's head right into that turnbuckle, but he's not bleeding just yet. Regal goes for a second time at the turnbuckle and Triple H turns it around on him and gets Regal's face into the turnbuckle twice. These two men are wearing each other out physically and mentally at this point. The crowd screams that "they want blood!" William gets out of the ring and goes right back over to pick up those brass knuckles again. The are in place and Triple H is on his feet. A huge spine buster brings Regal to the mat and once again he doesn't get the chance to use those knuckles. Triple H beats Regal in the head until finally blood is drawn and Triple H wins it. Regal wearing that crimson mask is not quite finished yet. Triple H gets Regal in the pedigree and lands a huge one on him I'm sure as payback for last week on Raw when Regal interfered in the match between Triple H and Ric Flair.
Chris Jericho comes out for his match tonight. It is going to be a handicap match. His opponents will be Snitsky and his partner JBL. This is so not fair. Poor Jericho. (Have you ever noticed how similar JBL's intro music is to the "beef it's what's for dinner" commercial? Just an observation.) Snitsky and Jericho start things off. It's not looking very good for Jericho. Jericho gets Snitsky out of the ring, but JBL runs in and gets his hits in on Jericho who immediately takes him outside and starts beating the NY City millionaire for all he's worth. JBL quickly turns the tables on Jericho and is using brutal force. Choking Jericho with the camera cables, throwing him into the steel steps. The ref calls for the bell but it doesn't happen. JBL drags Jericho who has the television cables still around his neck, around the ring like a dog. He drags him up the ramp and Jericho can't breathe. Then JBL starts the barrage of fists and tossing Jericho into the steel retaining wall. Kicks from the tycoon come next and Jericho is still wrapped up in the cords. JBL is climbing up a scaffold and he's putting the cables through the scaffold in an attempt to "hang" Jericho. Some officials try to stop him and JBL starts to manhandle the officials. Jericho is still caught in the cables and looking very discolored. JBL exits the arena and leaves the officials to take care of the breathless Jericho.
The highlanders are going to be in a match tonight. It's a royal rumble qualifying match. Their opponents are Hornswaggle and BK Jordan? (who?) Mick Foley comes out and is giving high fives to Hornswaggle and his partner. Mick dismisses BK Jordan and steps in as Hornswaggle's partner in this match up. Mick starts things off with Robbie McAllister. Rory McAllister gets the tag in as does Hornswaggle and starts really taking it to Hornswaggle, but Mick comes to the rescue and doesn't let the little McMahon get too hurt. The Highlanders make a nice double team on Mick Foley, again and again. It's suddenly not looking very good for Mick. He does manage to turn it around though and clear the ring. Out comes Mr. Socko and Rory gets a mouthful of it. Foley lands a nice take down on Rory getting him flat on the mat. Hornswaggle gets the tag, goes off the top rope and lands right on Rory. He get the three count and wins the match for his team. Mick Foley and Hornswaggle are going to the Royal Rumble! Sweet!
The menacing steel cage greets Jeff Hardy as he makes his way to the ring for his match against the Samoan bulldozer Umaga. Randy Orton's music comes on and out comes the champ. This is one hell of a bold move by Orton. I'm sure he thinks that his presence will distract Jeff, I don't think it will. Umaga and Jeff start this thing off and Umaga is taking it to Jeff, who doesn't stay down long. A huge foot to the face finds Jeff Hardy and he's on his back in the ring. The crowd is behind Hardy in this match that's for sure. Orton is over at the side of the cage "looking" on. Jeff almost escapes the cage but Umaga pulls him down off the top of it. Ouch! Umaga is totally devastating Jeff at this point. As much as I love Jeff as a wrestler, I'm not sure he can battle through this one. Jeff is trying to get to his feet, it's a slow process but he's making it. Jeff breaks the hold and he gets one good kick on Umaga before being tossed against that steel like a rag doll. Umaga bounces Jeff's head off the steel cage then runs full force and body slams himself right into Jeff. Umaga goes for a three count. Jeff gets his foot on the rope. Orton starts tossing steel chairs into the ring to "help" Umaga secure the win. Umaga hits Hardy with a steel chair right in the spine. He's out! No, wait, Jeff kicks out of the three count. Orton is getting riled now. Umaga tries to escape the cage but gets knocked down onto the ropes by Jeff (nice crotch shot) and is body slammed by Hardy as well. Jeff has gotten a second wind but it's knocked right out of him as Umaga gets that thumb of death right into Hardy's throat. Hardy is in the corner and Umaga sets up for a full run. Hardy gets up and is on his feet quicker than anyone can even tell. He brutalizes Umaga with the steel chair then gets a nice DDT on Umaga. Umaga kicks out however. Darn! Jeff goes for the door but gets it slammed on his head by Orton. Since there is no DQ there is nothing that the refs can do about it. Umaga goes for another three count, but Hardy kicks out. Umaga sets up the Samoan spike, but Jeff reverses it and gets a twist of fate of out it. Jeff goes up top and Orton is on the other side waiting for him. Hardy jumps back into the ring right on top of Umaga and gets the three count. Jeff Hardy wins it right in front of the champ! Damn, Hardy is going to be the next champion at this rate, he's smoking hot lately in more ways than one. Orton and Hardy eye each other and you can tell that Orton wants to get his hands on the rainbow haired warrior. What a great way to end the Raw Roulette!
See you next week same time same Raw channel!
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