Monday Night Raw

Monday night Raw is coming to us tonight from the United Kingdom in the beautiful country of England. Randy Orton decides to go into General Manager William Regal's office to give him some good advice. What would the raucous fans of the UK like more than to see a triple threat match up between Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels and Mr. Kennedy? All of which are up on the ballot to face Orton at Cyber Sunday. Well Mr. Regal indeed thinks that matches in threes are a wonderful idea, but I don't think that his solution is what Randy Orton was thinking of.

 

William Regal comes out to address his adoring fans of England and announces that Randy Orton will be in three separate matches tonight against each of his possible contenders for Cyber Sunday. Randy Orton much first take on the rainbow haired warrior Jeff Hardy.

 

This match up is hot with a barrage of deep arm takedowns by the Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy. A running low baseball slide leads to a high fly maneuver by Jeff right to the face of Orton. Orton turns the tables on Hardy with a drop kick and a power slam. For a few brief moments it looks as if Randy will win this by sheer power. He places some nice choke holds on Hardy but with no success in choking out the extreme champion. Jeff manages to get a huge clothesline on Orton which leads up to a whisper in the wind which ends in only a two count. Mr. Kennedy has to come out and interrupt the match distracting Jeff just long enough for Orton to land that RKO and get the win over Hardy. One down two more to go. Who is going to come out to distract Mr. Kennedy when his match with the champ is up?

 

Santino Marella and Val Venis match up yet again this week. These two men have no love whatever for each other. They exchange blows and Santino uses the rope to secure his win over the big Val Venis. Maria is sure looking beautiful tonight, that's about the only thing redeeming about this match, I'm really sick of Marella at this point I think he has overstayed his welcome. =P

 

Carlito and Jonathan Coachman exchange commentary on small things, and Hornswaggle gets brought up. Carlito makes fun of Coach for getting beat on last week by Hornswaggle with his own walking cane. Hornswaggle runs in and tags coach then runs out, the Monday night game of tag is on yet again! The thing that I don't understand is that they are treating Hornswaggle like he's a child. In fact he is an adult, despite the fact that his stature is small, he is a full grown man. Sure his actions are a bit childish at times, but could that be simply because people expect him to behave in such a manner? I think that he has real potential and I don't think that any member of the McMahon family should be exploited in such a way.....or is it Hornswaggle going the exploiting? They run into the back where the kitchen/dining area is and Hornswaggle leaps onto the face of Coach and runs back out....it's on now, the Monday night war begins again!

 

Mr. McMahon addresses Regal. He asks how old the Queen is really? William asks which one, (the pictures on his wall say it all)...Vince tries to correct William Regal's pronunciation of Umaga's name but to no avail. Mr. McMahon has something up his sleeve when he finds out the Triple H is in no condition to fight tonight due to the severity of his encounter with Umaga last week on Raw. What could that dastardly chairman have in mind now? I swear DX just needs to come out and shut Mr. McMahon up! I'm sure that will happen but in my opinion it can't happen soon enough!

 

Mr. Kennedy comes out ready to fight for his match up with Randy Orton. Will the mouth of the WWE be able to topple the tower of the Legend Killer? I think they should offer Mr. Kennedy a job as a ring announcer, he'd be really good at it. I wonder is Lillian Garcia is going to get sick of announcing Randy Orton tonight? Ha Ha! The match up begins. Mr. Kennedy is capitalizing on his strengths and Randy Orton's weakness of already being in action once tonight. Orton powers back and shows Kennedy that he's the champ for a reason, no one is going to best him that easily. Kennedy gets a two count on Orton and it's looking like he may have a leg up on the champ. Nope, Orton is not ready to lay down just yet, and Kennedy ends up on his back. The stomping begins by Orton. Kennedy is trying to utilize the ropes to his advantage but it's not meant to be. Kennedy picks up Orton and slams him down then Hardy runs out and interrupts Kennedy's match and beats the crap out of Kennedy. Orton high tails it out of the ring and paces like a caged animal just out of reach of our rainbow haired warrior. The intensity just got turned up a notch and I'm not sure Orton was quite expecting this. Two down one to go Randy!

 

Mr. McMahon comes out to address the audience. Oh lord he says that he amazes himself with his own promotional genius. He is promoting Cyber Sunday again. Sure it's a great idea, but I'm not sure if I would call Mr. McMahon a genius. At Cyber Sunday it will be Triple H vs Umaga. Umaga comes out ringside and Mr. McMahon calls for a referee for this really unnecessary match up. Mr. McMahon explains what stipulations can be added to the Cyber Sunday match up, then asks for a demonstration by Umaga. First up, a street fight. What an example. Umaga is simply tearing apart his opponent. Poor guy! A steel chair is brought into the picture and Umaga's opponent is counted out. Umaga wins. Mr. McMahon isn't done yet. The next demonstration is of a first blood match. Umaga must drawn first blood on his opponent to win this match. Mr. McMahon is getting too excited about this demonstration, his imagination must be in over time thinking that this poor man is Triple H. This is all so uncalled for. Repeated Samoan spikes bloody the opponent. His mouth is pouring blood and he can barely comprehend what's going on. There is a third option to Cyber Sunday. The steel cage starts to lower and whoever escapes first wins the match. This poor nobody can't possibly survive this match up. Mr. McMahon is delusional as he calls for the replay footage of the devastation of "Triple H"? He's done lost his mind yet again. The cage match begins. Mr. McMahon demands more carnage. I hope that he is paying this guy good to get his ass handed to him by Umaga. Mr. McMahon talks to Umaga throughout the match like Umaga is a pit bull and he's in a dog fight. How demeaning. I suppose Umaga doesn't care since he doesn't speak English. This match was simply ridiculous but I guess Mr. McMahon got his point across to those voters for Cyber Sunday.

 

Jillian Hall comes to the ring and of course has something to say to England. She confronts Lillian about her "pathetic" performance last week on Raw. Jillian continues to belittle Lillian on her music and band. "No one even understands Spanish" Lillian says. She is going to sing tonight. Thankfully enough we are saved by Candace Michelle before our ears start to bleed too badly. The match up begins. Candace is really starting to shape up as a wrestler, she demonstrates some fantastic moves and has the match won in about two minutes. Beth Phoenix is standing by with something to say. Next week Candace Michelle has invoked her rematch clause against the Glamazon and Beth can't hardly wait, claiming that she will get Candace Michelle on her knees next week.

 

Cody Rhodes is fighting Hardcore Holly again tonight and they face off together backstage first. A hard slap of reality by Holly gets Cody's blood boiling and Holly says that "that's the look I was looking for!" Could this be the match that finally earns the respect of Holly for Rhodes? Or will the young superstar remain defeated by the Hardcore legend? Only the squared circle has the answers.

 

The tag team champs are ringside to watch over the match between Rory McAllister and Brian Kendrick. Paul London is in Brian Kendrick's corner and Robbie McAllister is in the corner of Rory McAllister. Rory is showing his malicious side tonight in this match up and he is having no mercy for Kendrick tonight. The ropes save Kendrick from a pin fall by Rory and the match continues. Paul London tries to get the crowd behind his partner, but Kendrick can't seem to get a leg up on Rory. Finally a breath of fresh air and Kendrick gets one shot at the Scottish highlander. Rory doesn't go down and he finally gets the win over Brian Kendrick. The Highlander's eye the tag champs and exit the ring. Could the tag champs be in for more than they bargained for with Rory and Robbie? Time will tell.

 

Shawn Michaels has an interview with Todd Grisham. He addresses Orton and is not too happy with Orton at all. He seems to have a bad attitude towards our champ gee I wonder why?

 

Holly faces off with Rhodes for hopefully the last time. How many times can one man get beat in a row by the same opponent? I guess when you have something to prove it's not about how many times you get defeated but how many times you keep coming at the opposition. He may not be lucky in the ring but at least Rhodes is persistent. The match up begins. The veteran Holly is really taking it to the newbie Rhodes. Rhodes gets a nice barrage of pin fall set ups but never gets more than a two count. He ties the speed approach, but Holly still has the upper hand. There are more near falls in this match than I have ever seen, but Hardcore Holly wins it with the famous Alabama Slam yet again. I think that Rhodes needs to start at the bottom and work his way up to the legendary stars, not try to make a statement by going after the veterans first.

 

Randy Orton in action for the third time tonight against the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. This match up has the potential to be absolutely explosive considering the past that these two superstars have together. Orton being responsible for putting Michaels out of action for months due to a massive concussion. Could the Heartbreak Kid be looking to give the Legend Killer a taste of his own medicine? I certainly hope that there are paramedics on hand because one of these men is probably going to need them by the end of this match up. The match begins. Damn it's an all out brawl and Randy Orton can't even escape the fists of Michaels. Orton is capitalizing on the skull of Michaels hoping to cripple the Heartbreak Kid. Orton goes up top an his attempted super plex fails, but Michaels capitalizes and starts to have the upper hand on Orton. Mr. Kennedy runs out and interrupts the match and the match is called due to disqualification. Jeff Hardy runs out to get more of Randy Orton and amidst all the confusion Michaels lands a super kick to Orton, showing him that you never take your eyes off the prize. I have a feeling that this show of man power tonight will lead to something like a tag team match up next week, but that is simply my prediction.

 

The show comes to an end tonight with Shawn Michaels giving the knocked out Randy Orton a look like a cat about to eat the canary. I have to say that I am ecstatic that Shawn has returned to Raw, for awhile I wasn't certain that he was going to be coming back due to the extent of his injury. Just goes to show that once wrestling is in your blood it takes a lot more than a gung ho kid to take you out of the picture! Welcome back Shawn!

 

del.icio.us Tags: Monday Night Raw , WWE , Wrestling

More Guarantees than a Presidential Candidate!

I knew that there were going to be some serious repercussions from No Mercy on this episode of Raw, but what the night had in store for the fans watching at home I'm not sure I was quite ready for! It was a hell of a way to kick off my week and I'm glad that I opted to stay awake to watch Raw.

 

Mr. McMahon kicked off the evening with more talk about how he kept his end of the deal and gave the people what they wanted at No Mercy. He then proceeded to go off on the Cyber Sunday tangent talking about how generous it was of him to give up his "power" for a night and give it to the people. The people can log in to WWE.com and pick the matches for Cyber Sunday. Who fights who, what style match etc etc. I have participated in the voting for Cyber Sunday before and it's a whole lot of fun, no doubt, but he was making it sound like he was doing the public a favor by providing us this service. About the time that everyone was getting tired of listening to him toot his own horn, out comes the man of the night, Triple H. He confronted Mr. McMahon and told him that he was invoking his automatic rematch clause and that he wanted Randy Orton in the ring right then that night. Triple H wasn't asking for a rematch, he was telling Mr. McMahon that a rematch was taking place. That's one thing about the king of kings, he can be very convincing when he needs to be.

 

Mr. McMahon makes the main event match for that night Randy Orton vs. Triple H for the WWE championship. As Vince is leaving the ring though, he gets a brilliant idea. He then makes it a handicap match. Triple H vs Randy Orton and his tag team partner Umaga. Now I've been watching wrestling for years and I've seen some dirty underhanded deeds that Mr. McMahon has pulled off, but this is getting downright ridiculous. I know that Triple H. and the McMahon family have a long history, but that is no reason for Vince to be so uncaring for the well being of Triple H at this point. I mean the man just came back from a quad injury last month and already Vince is trying to take The Game out of the game. I was not happy in the slightest about this decision, if he were my boss I'd have two words for him!

 

Monday night also brings back everyone's favorite general manager wannabe Jonathan Coachman. He is speaking with the Raw General Manager William Regal about his comeback and how John Cena "deserves what he got last Monday night after what he did to me!" Apparently Coach now has to walk with a cane because Cena messed him up pretty bad. Personally I think Coach deserved what he got for being an annoying prissy pants, but that's just me. I don't think Cena deserved to have his pectoral tendon ripped off the bone and have to have emergency surgery to repair it, no one deserves that no matter what. Mr. McMahon enters the room and asks Regal of the whereabouts of his little boy Hornswaggle. Regal claims that the "little tyke" is taking a nap because he tuckered himself out playing earlier that day. As soon as Mr. McMahon leaves, Regal gets in Coach's face and tells him that Hornswaggle is now Coach's responsibility and that he's sleeping in the closet. Well of course he's not in the closet, so Coach begins his search for the missing McMahon.

 

Just as I was comfortable snuggled up on my couch watching my favorite show, out comes Santino Marella. This man can make me want to turn the channel faster than anything. He has been challenged to a rematch by Val Venis because of his attack on Venis last Monday on Raw. Venis comes out still limping from the vicious attack on his knee the previous week. Just as Val gets into the ring Santino goes over to J.R. and King's announcer's table and gets a microphone. He announces that he has a previous engagement that evening and he is unable to fight Val Venis that night, but that Mr. McMahon has chosen a suitable replacement. Val Venis is suddenly facing down the hideous Snitsky. This man is the epitome of ugly, the next horror movie they make where they need a psychopath, he's your guy. The match begins and Snitsky immediately goes to work on the already injured knee of Val Venis. This is a huge disadvantage to Venis who tries but fails to fight on one good leg. Snitsky capitalizes on this weakness and wins the match almost effortlessly. I call this the filler match of the night cause it really has no impact on the rest of the show....lol

 

John Cena gives his first interview after his surgery last week for this torn pectoral tendon. J.R. and Jerry the King Lawler interview him via satellite. He says that since it had only been days since the surgery a prognosis was still pretty vague. The doctors are telling him 7-12 months of rehabilitation before he is ready for action again. He is hoping for less but I'm sure that he won't come back until he is 100%. He does comment on Randy Orton's statement at no mercy about Cena being lucky he was injured so he wouldn't have to face to embarrassment of losing at No Mercy. Cena had this to say about that, "It's better to fight and lose than to not get in the ring and fight at all." He also said that he is not going to focus on the past that he cannot change but he's going to focus on getting better so he can come back and kick some ass! I can't wait until that time comes, but in the meantime John Cena is in my thoughts and I hope he has a speedy recovery.

 

Randy Orton and Umaga are teaming up against Triple H. I can't say that I like the cerebral assassins chances here. Mr. McMahon also made the stipulation that all three men were to be in the ring fighting at the same time, Orton and Umaga were not actually "tagging" partners. This is going to get ugly. J.R. says during the match that it's going to take a miracle for Triple H to win this match and I have to admit sadly that I'm praying for that miracle as I watch. I can't stand to see the King of Kings man handled in such a way. Triple H gets a huge DDT on Randy Orton early enough in the match that I start to feel guilty for my doubting him. Orton and Umaga are both working on the already hurt ribs of The Game and Orton gets another one of those fantastic vertical drop kicks right into the face of Triple H. I swear it seems like Orton and Umaga are playing, "you hold him for me I'll hold him for you" as they beat the game out of his mind. Triple H gets a reprieve and delivers a face buster to Orton. Umaga delivers a chair shot to Triple H and the match is called by the ref for outside interference with a chair. Of course just because the bells rings doesn't stop the destructive duo from beating The Game. Randy gets an RKO and walks about content with his actions. Umaga however is another story. The Samoan Bulldozer takes the next few minutes to absolutely destroy Triple H in ways that no man should have to suffer. After executing a huge Samoan Spike to The Game, Umaga looks absolutely satiated with his dissection of the King of King and he leaves the ring. Officials move in to help Triple H, but every king has their pride and he tries to leave the ring on his own. He falls flat on his face on the steel entrance ramp and has to be helped out of the arena by officials. My heart stops hoping that he's ok and wishing that someone would just kick the crap out of both Randy Orton and Umaga.

 

The spirit raising match of the night is Paul London and Brian Kendrick vs. The Highlanders Rory and Robbie. The Highlanders are trying to "earn" the right to take on the tag champs Cade and Murdock. The match is very short lived and the ropes are used to help the highlanders score an upset over the high flying duo. I don't know if I'm such a big fan of the bad attitude of the highlanders as of late. Maybe it's because when they came into the WWE no one was taking them seriously. I liked them when they first debuted, but now I just think that they are bullies and cheaters the perfect match for Cade and Murdock in my opinion.

 

Coach is still trying to find Hornswaggle at this point, no one has seen the littlest McMahon. William Regal asks Coach if he's had any luck on finding him, and they butt heads on the issue of the task at hand. This could go on all night if Coach doesn't channel his inner Sherlock Holmes.

 

A wonderful break from the squared circle for a moment when Lillian Garcia and her band perform her new single off her album Quiero Vivir! The album is entirely in Spanish and let me tell you what, Spanish music never sounded so good. This woman is so talented and beautiful, I would love the opportunity to eventually meet her. It's a great song and I'm glad that she still finds time to work on her music with the busy WWE schedule that she keeps!

 

Jeff Hardy faces off against Mr. Kennedy. The rainbow haired warrior meets the mouth of the WWE. They lock up and the match is a nice exchange of blows and blocks between the two men. Hardy tries to go high risk on the top ropes at one point attempting to jump on Kennedy who is outside the ring. Kennedy moves and all Jeff gets is a chest full of retaining wall. (ouch!) Mr. Kennedy turns up the heat with a 1/2 Boston crab submission on the Intercontinental Champion but Jeff gets free. Jeff continues to try to go high risk but it's not his night to fly. A drop kick takes him off the top turnbuckle as he's attempting another move. Kennedy seems to be in complete control of the extreme warrior tonight. Kennedy begins working over the legs of Hardy knowing that that is the strength of Hardy and if you take that away from him you've won. Hardy of course fights back like a champ and uses a modified brain buster to take Kennedy down. Kennedy gets a roll up on Hardy but Hardy counters it and wins the match. This was not a title match so he had nothing to loose, but everything to gain in the game of rising to the top!

 

Now the big event of the evening! Mr. McMahon announced earlier in show that every person on the Raw roster was going to come ringside and shake the hand of Randy Orton and congratulate him on becoming the champ. Despite the fact that Triple H was absolutely unable to even walk, Vince demanded that Triple H will be the first man to shake Randy's hand even if he had to be brought ringside on a stretcher. The wrestlers come out (I don't see Triple H?) and then out comes the champ himself. He struts to the ring like he actually deserves all this attention. He gets in the ring and I notice that he's wearing a suit with his wrestling T-shirt underneath the suit jacket. Now come on Randy I know that they pay you well enough to buy dress shirts, you should try it sometime. Or have you forgotten all those stylin and profiling days of Evolution? Orton makes this touching speech about how perfect he is and it almost brings me to tears (of boredom!) I'm serious his arrogance is going to get him hurt one day!

 

Vince calls out Triple H to come shake Randy's hand. Well nothing happens no intro music. So Randy decides to go backstage and "drag" The Game out. Orton gets about halfway up the ramp when intro music starts. It's not Triple H's music he hears though. It's the music of the one the only Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels! At this point I'm on my feet in my living room jumping up and down like a school girl because I've been waiting for months for him to make a comeback and I wasn't sure it was going to happen. Man Randy Orton started to back pedal toward the ring like a scared little girl. For those of you who don't remember, it was The Legend Killer Randy Orton that kicked Shawn Michaels head off a few months back resulting in a massive concussion. Shawn walks slowly and deliberately to the ring savoring the fans reaction to his being there. Once he gets in the ring Randy Orton has "No chance in Hell" of escaping unscathed. Michaels beats the crap out of Orton then delivers that sweet chin music that we all know and love that is classic Heartbreak Kid and knocks Orton clean out. The Show Stopper is back on Monday Night Raw and it's about time!

 

A couple of side notes were mentioned during Raw that I found pretty interesting. Friday Night Smackdown is about to get a whole lot more extreme. The Brothers of Destruction are back! (for those of you who don't know who that is, Undertaker and Kane). These two are teaming back up to wreck havoc on Smackdown and their first victims are going to be Matt Hardy and MVP! I'll be sure to tune in Friday night to catch that one. I absolutely love the Undertaker and the days of long ago when he teamed with Kane were awesome and thrilling. These two men are huge and no one can beat them when they are working together. The Dead Man and the Big Red Machine are back (too bad they aren't still on Raw.....lol)

 

The 2007 Diva Search is almost over as well. There are 4 divas left I believe in the running. These women are absolutely beautiful and I'm sure very nice women. What happened to the days though when the women actually wrestled. Sure pretty faces are nice, but that gets kind of old after awhile (ok maybe not for the men who watch but not all wrestling fans are men duh!) I'd love to see whomever is selected this year actually take some training and learn how to be dominant in the ring and beautiful for the cameras as well. So far I've got my money on Beth Phoenix keeping her newly acquired Women's Title for awhile because not many of the other Divas backstage can fight their way out of a paper bag honestly. Please get some women wrestlers not just pretty faces. Ok I'm off that soapbox! Make sure you go to www.wwe.com to vote for your favorite Diva! (If not at least you can look at some really hot pictures of scantily clad women) =P

 

del.icio.us Tags: WWE , Monday Night Raw