Are you ready? That was the question that kicked off Monday Night Raw tonight as DX walked out in full force. They didn't spare any fanfare tonight as the fans were on their feet and cheering the return of the most incredible tag team in the history of the WWE. Just as Triple H is speaking, Hornswaggle walks out from under the ring and he is so cute mimicking the duo. Triple H tries to shoo Hornswaggle out of the ring. Hornswaggle drops Shawn Michaels but it's all in good fun, he refuses to go back under the ring saying there is a monster under the ring. Then Shawn Michaels is pulled under the ring by something, and when he comes back out he's got earthworms coming out of his mouth. The Boogeyman, ECW's nightmare, comes out from under the ring and man is he nasty. Hornswaggle is so terrified that he's hiding between Triple H's legs.....lol. The Boogeyman wants to know if he can join DX? What? Eww. Then the Great Khali comes out, does he want to join up too? This is getting too crazy, when did DX become a circus sideshow? Damn, out comes Jonathan Coachman next, gee what's he want? He claims that he's shutting this nonsense down right now, calling DX immature. Triple H threatens to use Khali against Coach. Triple H says that Coach said something really bad about the Punjabi giant and Khali reacts in the only way that he knows how, brute force. Once again DX has pulled on over on their opposition. If you don't like that, Los Angeles has two words for you!
The ECW diva Kelly Kelly makes an appearance on Raw to get her revenge on Beth Phoenix, Last week the Glamazon attacked the extreme expose leader during the diva battle royal. Beth is just so strong and dominant there isn't really a diva that is going to be able to reign her in. She reminds me of the women wrestlers of time past, back when the women actually wrestled. Beth takes the win once again!
Santino Marella is still ragging on Stone Cold Steve Austin. I can't wait until the Texas Rattlesnake comes out and opens a can of whoop ass on this Italian punk!
The next filler match begins and it's Carlito in the ring with some guy named Joey who thought he was going to be fighting Carlito. Carlito refuses to wrestle and his replacement is the evil Snitsky. Of course Snitsky gets the win over this young man. What a waste of two minutes. Snitsky then nails Carlito with a huge boot to the head and leaves carnage in the ring in his wake.
An inter-promotional tag team match up kicks off. It's Raw's Jeff Hardy and Smackdown's Rey Mysterio vs Raw's Mr. Kennedy and Smackdown's Finlay. Wow this is going to be one high flying death defying match up. I love the tag team of Hardy and Mysterio, both these men are incredible and not afraid to take risks to win matches. It's on now! Hardy and Finlay lock up to start this match. (Wow Jeff's gone back to blonde, nice!) Jeff Hardy is taken over the top rope by Finlay and lands into the hands of Kennedy. Mysterio comes to Jeff's aid and Kennedy and Finlay face off against each other. I don't think the Mouth and the Irishman are going to get along very well with each other. Mysterio and Kennedy get into the squared circle and the sparks start flying. Finlay gets the tag and he works on grounding the high flyer. Mysterio just came back into action not too long ago from having surgery on his knee due to an injury in a match. Kennedy and Finlay know this and they are sure using it to their advantage right now. Despite the barrage of attacks Mysterio refuses to give up and lay down for the count. He keeps fighting to try to get to his corner to make that much needed tag to Hardy. He finally makes it and Hardy comes in to face off against Kennedy. Hardy hits a whisper in the wind but Finlay interrupts the count, tossing Jeff out. Mysterio enters and delivers a huge 619 to Kennedy and then jumps onto Finlay. This allows Jeff to capitalize and capture a win for himself and Mysterio!
Santino Marella comes to the ring being accompanied by the beautiful Maria. She's so beautiful but could her dress get any smaller and still be PG? Maria keeps trying to tell him that he's going to get in trouble, but he refuses to listen. Marella is sure belittling everyone here tonight! The my bald knight is shining denim Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to save me from having to listen to anymore of Marella's BS. I have a feeling this is not going to end well for Santino. Stone Cold then corrects Santino on his bad English. "You just don't make a name for yourself off of Stone Cold Steve Austin, EH EH!" Finally the Stunner is delivered and Marella finally shuts up. Sweet! Stone Cold leaves the ring after shoving a copy of the Condemned into Santino's mouth. "I'll be right back!" The he returns driving a Budweiser truck. Oh it's on now! Out come the hoses and if you know Stone Cold you know what comes next. Hilarity ensues and Santino gets a beer bath specialty of the Texas Rattlesnake. Serves him right. Stone Cold eyes Maria and still has the hose in his hand. She gets a beer bath too. Wow she looks really good wet, how fun, I want a turn! I sure do miss Stone Cold, hell yeah!
Mr. McMahon is having another heart to heart with his little son Hornswaggle. Mr. McMahon says that he saved Hornswaggle from the fury of Jonathan Coachman, he says he did it cause he loves his son. There is going to be a match at Survivor Series between The Great Khali and Hornswaggle. Size doesn't matter? Well I guess Mr. McMahon shows just how much he really "loves" his son. How rude. I wish someone would help Hornswaggle out and quit picking on him. He's just too cute to hurt in my opinion.
Triple H has been asked to come on camera and waste time because Stone Cold just sprayed beer all over the ring and the crew is trying really hard to clean it up. A very large fat man comes out in a g-string and starts to dance. Shawn Michaels fails as talent scout, but Triple H fixes it by bringing out The Girls Next Door straight from the Playboy Mansion. Nice. Much better than the oiled up fat man that came out earlier. =D
Cody Rhodes being accompanied to the ring by Hardcore Holly is up next in a match against Trevor Murdock being accompanied by Lance Cade. Mickie James stops Trevor on his way to the ring to say "good luck" on his match, I think there may be something there between Mickie and Trevor. It would be the best thing to happen to the redneck if she gives him the time of day! Rhodes and Murdock lock up and get the match underway. Rhodes picks up the win over Murdock.
There is a really beautiful flashback to the life and career of the Fabulous Moolah who passed away on Friday November 2nd. She had a great career and she paved the way for many of the female wrestlers that we know and love. She was an icon and will be missed greatly!
Another filler match of Super Crazy and Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. With chants of USA, Super Crazy and Hacksaw Jim Duggan win this match up. Interesting pair they make to say the least.
DX vs Umaga and Randy Orton is up finally. Will all the shenanigans of earlier affect the match? I think not. The Samoan bulldozer comes out first, followed by his partner for this match the Legend Killer. (I used to think that Orton was so hot, just goes to show that looks aren't everything!) Dx comes out to a huge fanfare and they are ready for business. The match begins immediately as the two get in the ring and start taking to to Orton an Umaga. Dx clears the ring, so they have to go out to get their opponents back in. Triple H and Orton are the legal men in the ring finally after Orton gets a huge blow to the head off the announcers table from the Cerebral Assassin. DX is on top of their game tonight and they are really taking it to their opponents. Umaga catches Triple H and delivers a huge sidewalk slam laying the King of Kings out momentarily. Umaga is totally taking it to The Game. This is not happy. Triple H narrowly avoided getting Umaga's huge body in his face. Triple H needs to make that tag to his partner, and he does. Shawn Michaels comes in and is up against Orton. Michaels is on fire is seems. Michaels goes up top and lands a nice move on Orton, but Umaga comes in and almost decapitates Michaels. (ouch!)
Umaga gets a tag in and he begins to pummel the Heartbreak Kid. Orton looks a bit shaken but not stirred as he eagerly watches his partner beating on Michaels. Orton tags himself in and starts to capitalize on the injured head of Michaels. He starts to take apart Michaels stomping on every part of his body. How can Triple H allow this? Umaga is back in action and he jumps right on Shawn. I'm pretty sure Shawn has no idea which end is up at this point. I hope he has a good masseuse, he's going to need it after this match. Umaga goes to the second rope and Michaels narrowly missed getting jumped on. He's trying so hard to tag Triple H but Umaga gets Shawn's leg. Shawn kicks Umaga in the head, and gets his tag as Triple H enters the ring facing off against Orton yet again. Umaga is still in the ring for some damn reason and Triple H is taking them both on. He's all aggressive. Triple H goes down from a kick but kicks out of the count. He's not moving very well right now at all. Umaga is back in the ring. Umaga lands the locomotive body shot on Triple H and his head snaps back like a whip. Orton tags himself in like a caged animal, he's looking to end the career of The Game. Well not tonight he's not! Michaels gets back in and Sweet Chin Music finds it's home on Orton's face yet again. DX picks up the win tonight, and I hope it won't be the last we see of this dynamic duo!
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